allo, bonjour moi pettit poit, eye em, ow you say, goiiing tu seduce your parderner...
The french exchange student didn't actually say any of the above as he arrived at Toastmasters last night, especially not the bit about small peas, but there was something about his casual manliness that, had I been in any way unsure of my relationship with Herself, might have left me feeling slightly anxious.
There was a certain set to that partly shaven face, rugged good looks and toussled hair, a smooth confidence in that lilting French accent that I knew would turn the knees of many a British woman to jelly. Indeed, as the night progressed it was clear that Jaques (not his actual name) was indeed raising the blood pressure of many of the female attendees - and maybe a few of the men as well. Even the inscrutable Herself did admit that the rakish accent stirred some deep feeling.
Which made me wonder what it is about certain accents and countries that makes people appear sexually attractive? French, Spanish, Italians and even Greeks have reputations as great lovers, but Germans with their clipped tones, and us Brits, do not.
And what of Americans? Are they sexy, with their confidence? Do their accents lead the men and the women of the world to collapse into a quivering wreck, or do they leave us running for the shower?
Other interesting accents include the Australian accent, where every sentence seems to end on an up note, as if asking a question - so a simple "I fancy a cup of tea" is transformed into "I fancy a cup of teA?"
Sadly the most unsexy accents I could think of were all British:
1) The Lahndahn (London) accent - or Britticus Cockney-Bowbellius - the cor blimey guvnors, as infamously portrayed by that most rare of species: the lesser spotted DickvanDykeius (co-species Marycus Poppinsus)
2) The Am-yam Buuuurmingum accent - or Midlandium Flatticus-prononcicus, so called because of the habit, in some areas of Birmingham, by starting a sentance "Am-yam ooolroit?" (are you alright)
3) The Liviirpewl aCCent - the McCartneyus Beatalicus - to be fair Paul McCartney et al had the flatter Liverpool accent and not the one that sounds permanently vexed and on the point of aperplexy
Our accent where I live is no better either - its very flat and we tend to drop "t"'s -so the word "City" transforms into "ci-iy". Hard to imagine Casanova doing that, now isn't it?
NB: apologies for the Latin. Scholars of the language should probably note that merely adding "us" onto the end of an existing word does not actually transform it in any shape of form
Any examples of accents, sexy or otherwise, muchly appreciated