The ongoing saga of a weekly That-Was-The-Week-That-Was posting.
Commenting on things that caught my attention for better or for
worse and left me shaking my fist at the sky and shouting "Whyyyy!!!"
After all: until science brings us a better use for Thursdays - what else is there to do?
PIXIE: Hi yes, I'm trying to make an inquiry about season tickets
Incomprehensible Member Of Staff (IMOS): Yerrs, where were you heading
PIXIE: From my home to Central Smokey.
IMOS: Ah yes, you can buy two tickets from there, Ticket A the £Modestly rip-off price or Ticket D the £Extremely rip-off price
PIXIE: It's actually the two prices inbetween I'm trying to find out about - my search result on your site came up with Ticket B: £100 more than the Modest rip-off and Ticket C: £100 more again, but still less than the £extreme rip-off
IMOS: Ah yes, but Ticket B requires that your journey goes through or changes at Timbuktoo, whilst Ticket C requires that you go through change at Outer Mongolia
PIXIE: Well, yes - but that's what i'm trying to work out you see - because I was hoping that you could define "goes through" for me.
IMOS: Your train has to go through there
PIXIE: Yeeeees.....but here's the thing - There are two routes that I can see from my house - the Extremely Slow Train Company (ESTC) or the NeverHadSex Company (guessing that readers will probably work out who this company is). Now ESTC takes about 2hrs to get to Central Smokey, but if I change at my nearest city for NHSC then i can get there in just over 1hr. So: the NHSC route takes it THROUGH Timbuktoo, but it doesn't stop there - does that count
IMOS: Your train has to go through the station for the ticket to be valid
PIXIE (Slightly frazzled now): Yes, but can you define "goes through" - the train DOES "go through" the station - it just does so at 100 mph - does the train have to stop there, even if i remain on the train, for it to count as going through?
IMOS: No
PIXIE: No it doesn't?
IMOS: Yes, it does
PIXIE: So it does, or it doesn't?
IMOS: The train has to go through the station for the ticket to be valid
PIXIE: OK let me try a different tack then. Ticket price A only allows me to go on ESTC routes and nothing else - therefore it is the cheapest price yes?
IMOS: Yes
PIXIE: Great, finally some clarity. B-UT Ticket Price B allows me to get on any train SO LONG AS it goes via Timbuktoo - whatever that actually means - right?
IMOS: Right
PIXIE: AAAH, but you see - the only train that will go through my local stops and stop at Timbuktoo is the ESTC, and the only connection i can get from there to Central Smokey is also run by ESTC - so what you're effectively telling me then is that I'm paying an extra £100 for the privilege of catching exactly the same train, yes?
IMOS: The train has to go through the station for the ticket to be valid
PIXIE: You know, i used to have a toy talking robot dog as a kid that had more stock phrases than you do. OK - so ticket price C means I have to go via Outer Mongolia, but that otherwise I can catch any train yes?
IMOS: Yes
PIXIE: But the problem here is that the only train to Outer Mongolia won't get me to Central Smokey till nearly midday and has to change at three other locations - so now you're expecting me to pay £200 extra for an even more useless ticket?
IMOS: The £extreme rip-off train ticket does allow you to catch any train
PIXIE: Yes, but that's over £300 more per month than the ESTC for what, with changes in service, is effectively a 15 minute time difference in journey per day. Which is why I'm trying to get you to define "goes through" for me. If it means "must stop at" then it should say "must stop at" so that people with second languages can clearly understand what is being said. Buuut - if it means "goes through" - IE merely has to pass through the station but doesn't actually have to stop whilst in the process of doing so - then I can have the option of switching to the NHSC service and save myself some time - so please, for the love of God, can you just tell me does the phrase on your website "must go through" translate as "must stop at" or not???
IMOS: The train has to go through the station for the ticket to be valid
Cue sounds of muttered, but still copious, swearing and the sound of a disconnect