Friday, 18 December 2009

Wordzzle 93:

Well, Maggie is back again with her journey and this week a quick re-cap of the story so far:

Margaret Mills, a semi-retired Bed & Breakfast/Hotel Manager is making the journey from John O Groats to Lands End on a mobility scooter – it has yet to be established what the eventual purpose of this journey is.

Along the way she communicates with her friend and employee Bernard “Spud” Maris, a youth of no fixed ability who has an on/off relationship with Denise the cheerleader and whose best friend Tosser is a known criminal.

Maggie is wanted for questioning by the Police in relation to something that has yet to be revealed, but is now additionally wanted for questioning relating to wanton destruction of property (namely a display of Harry Potter Audio Books), two counts of assault on a prominent marine biologist (looking for turtles), leaving several hotel bills unpaid and other minor speeding offences. Just prior to beginning her journey Margaret (or Mags) was seen in a prominent night club accepting a container containing a strange grey powder from Tosser…

Her journey has aroused much media and internet interest and resulted in the formation of the Margaret Mills Liberation Front – a facebook group resolved to helping her complete her journey via dressing up as elderly ladies and causing public disturbances.

For rules and to play along please visit the ever amazing Raven (loved those ice pictures btw) at

An additional point for oversees readers: Spaghetti Junction is a famous junction on the M6 motorway outside Birmingham where the roads criss-cross in numerous directions. It is so call because, well…it looks a bit like Spaghetti…

Words this week were:
spaghetti, woe is me, mythology, avarice, windy, pathetic, paper towels, water, all my children, books

And: best deals of the week, Nobel Peace Prize, sleep deprived, cauliflower, practice

Walsall – Cirencester, (74.5 miles)

Dear Spud

Well the bloody weather ain’t getting no better. This week it were trying to snow Thursday and Friday: so what with that and it being so windy I feel like I’ve been blown right across the country.

Well I’ve been all through the midlands this week. Remember when I called on Tuesday and told you about the incident with the paper towels in Bromsgrove? Well the cistern overflowed and the bathroom were all covered in water, so I tried me best to mop it up but ended up blocking the toilet instead. Well – that were just the start of the problems in that hotel. I don’t know what their head chef were thinking when he made the cauliflower sauce but the only thing it were good for was mending the hole in the spare wheel on me scooter.

Of course that happened whilst I were on the Birmingham Road towards Droitwich and I were right disappointed as I went through the area not to see Spaghetti Junction, but there’s no way I’ll be feeling sleep deprived over it.

Then I moved on to Cheltenham by Wednesday and went to the races. I didn’t have much luck: put a fiver on “All My Children” which were a ten-to-one outsider, but it turned out to be a bit pathetic and came in last.

The Hotel were nice though, though I got the idea that they were offering more than just the usual type of service. Whatever those young ladies outside were charging they must have been the best deals of the week, coz the place were full of young lads looking embarrassed.

Anyway, I finally arrived in Cirencester this morning and the Corinium Museum were right interesting. Had a special section amongst all them Roman artefacts where they told you all about mythology. Did you know they thought the sky were bronze not blue? Bloody interesting. I bought you and Tosser some books on it: course, we’ll have to teach Tosser to read first…

I took a quick trip to the amphitheatre, but it were trying to snow and there were this tour guide who wanted fifty quid for the pleasure of telling me about it. Well, talk about avarice! Whoever solves the problem of rip-off merchants like him should get a Nobel Peace Prize if you ask me.

I’ll try and call you during the week if I can find a plug socket to charge me mobile – maybe wish you a merry Christmas from wherever I am by then




Abit worrd abt Tosser. E was supposd 2 do a gig with his band “Woe Is Me”, but e never turnd up 4 practice.

Do u think he’s dun a runner?

PS: Denise is doin a special Xmas pud 4u. Will save u sum if we cant meet.



Argent said...

Maggie is indomitable! Spaghetti junction - genius! Never would have thought of that - mind you, my main story is in Americaland so wouldn't crop up in conversation there. I love these episodes. I've done Mr Linky for ya too.

Raven said...

I love Maggie and her journey. How cool of Birmingham to offer you the gift of Spaghetti Junction. Brilliant name for one of those areas. I hope you have a wonderful Holiday season and look forward to Maggie's continuing adventure in the New Year.

Dr.John said...

Was afraid that you hadn't written and would have missed the old lady. You do such a wonderful job with her and work the words in so well.

Fandango said...

That old lady takes that electric bike to places no ordinary person would dare to go but it seems right for her. That we guess is because of your writing skill.

iNdi@ said...

when will the collected Maggie journeys appear in print so's i can tuck a copy into my travel bag and continue to giggle helplessly into my aeroplane "meals"?
let's hope Tosser doesn't break a tooth on a sixpence

bettygram said...

It has been an interesting journey. I like the use of Spaghetti junction.

Don't Feed The Pixies said...

Argent - I can't imagine americans coping with Spaghetti Junction!

Raven - same to you. have a great one

Dr John - more of Maggie in two weeks, and she'll be having an eventful christmas

Fandango - ironically I was nearly knocked down by a mobility scooter in a shop the other day: you'd be surprised where people DO take them!

India - not sure if the collected stories will be long enough for print, but may look at them again when finished...

Bettygram - thanks