Wordzlle 92

Welcome back again for more of Maggie’s particular brand of mayhem, as we join in the fun that is Wordzlle. My apologies again for my infrequent responses and return visits. It’s been six weeks now and I still don’t know anything more than a tea leaf knows about the history of the Typhoo Tea company.

For those of you new to the game please visit the ever wonderful Raven at http://ravensviews.blogspot.com/

For those of you who don’t know already semi-retired Hotel Manager Margaret Mills is making the journey from John O’Groats to Lands End on a mobility scooter for reasons yet to be given. She is wanted for questioning by the Police for reasons unknown and is prone to causing havoc wherever she goes.

This week provided some interesting challenges and features the return of someone we met a few weeks ago…

Words and phrases for the challenge this week:
sugar, mortgage, logical, roller skates, outlandish, Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, cumberbund, unexpected, photo album, scarecrow

And for the mini: tomatoes, turtles, basement apartment, circumference, make my dayWeek Manchester – Walsall (85 miles),

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EXTRACT FROM BBC1 NEWS, WEDNESDAY 9TH DECEMBER

Newsreader: …with a circumference the size of a bowl of petunias.

In other news this week there was a mass demonstration outside Number 10 Downing Street by the members of the Margaret Mills Liberation Front.

Mr Derek Kinkade, President of the MMLF later gave a statement from his basement apartment, saying “I wish they’d leave the poor old dear alone, I’m sure it can all be explained over a lovely cup of tea…

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Dear Spud

Well Manchester were just as bloody grim as I remember it: all full of moping students out trying to find some miserable bugger called Morrissey. Aparently he were a singer, but I’m buggered if I know who the hell he were. Anyway: I had to see one of the youths off with me collapsing zimmer frame after he collided with me mobility scooter. The daft bugger were out on roller skates: first time I’ve seen them since the 1980s. I tried my best Dirty Harry impression on him, givin him my “go ahead punk, make my day” expression, but he turned and rolled away.

Still I were swiftly out of Manchester and into Congleton, which is in Cheshire where the cheese came from. There were a lovely market in the centre and someone told me that it were where airbags are made. Would you believe it? Don’t seem right logical somehow. Still, there were a bit of a misunderstanding on the outskirts of Congleton, on account of the fact that I reversed my mobility scooter into what I thought were a fallen scarecrow, only it turned out to be that scientist what I met in Scotland. You know – the one who were looking for turtles? Seems he didn’t find any turtles in the Loch’s and had moved south to help with an ongoing study into the lifecycle of tomatoes – whatever the hell that means.

Anyway, I apologised as best I could for the tyre marks up his leather jacket, only I could tell he weren’t best pleased and left him too it.

Then I had a bit of a set-back outside Stoke-on-Trent, on account of the fact that me motor went in the scooter and I were forced to hitch a lift with a travelling magician. Professor Klump and The Amazing Asparagus or something like that. He were dressed right smart though, with a full tuxedo and cumberbund (although I had to ask him what he were wearing a girdle for before he explained). It were all a bit outlandish if you ask me, but that weren’t the worst bit by a mile.

See, he had this bleeding parrot: Asparagus (hence the name of the act) – only as it’s coming up to Christmas he’s been teaching it festive phrases and it kept yelling “Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” the whole bleeding way until I were right ready to chuck it out the window. Anyway, he took me into Rugeley and I got the motor repaired and replaced and whilst I were waiting he showed me his photo album with all the famous people what he’s met down the years. It were right interesting and no mistake.

Mags

TEXT FROM BERNARD “SPUD” MARIS TO MARGARET MILLS

Mags

Tosser blockd the drain Mon, sed e woz pourin sum sugar away, but I don’t belief im

PS me n Denise are back 2gethr. unexpectd, but am glad. Do u think’s 2 early 2 get mortage?

Spud