Well, Maggie’s back this week after her break, and as you might have guessed she’s been a busy lady. Those of you who know that I was taking part in Nanowrimo will be glad to know that I finished “The Benefit” with time to spare in 55,000 words (yay me). DFTP competition winners Raven and Dr John had characters named after them and I am now back to struggling with my fantasy novel (which is proving hard going for some reason)
OK: so for those of you who don’t know the rules please click on the link to Raven’s Views
Words this week are:
10-word challenge: edge, haven, sunglasses, sprightly, telling, frazzled, juicy, quartet, tied, necklace
And for the mini: bees, crackling, wooden, staple, earful
Weeks 7-8, Carlisle – Manchester
Well I’ll say one thing for the British weather: when it rains it bloody well rains. I couldn’t believe the weather last week – it were so wet that all me notepaper were ruined, which were why I weren’t able to send you a letter. In the end I had to pop into one of those hiking shops and buy a bloody great big waterproof: only it caught the wind and nearly bloody pulled me off a cliff before I was able to get some tent pegs and tied it to the handles of me collapsing zimmer frame. I were right frazzled by the experience.
That were in Penrith last week, you know – the day you rang about the bees having got into the mattress in number seven. I can understand how Mrs Bryce were upset and gave you an earful: I know I wouldn’t be best pleased if I got up in the morning, went to put on me necklace and ended up spending four hours in outpatients with me hand in a jar of Vaseline. You’d best give her money back and tell Tosser to have a word with Mr Kemp next door about his apiary.
Anyway – I took a bit of a diversion after Penrith and went to Kendal in the Lake District. Me and Norman used to have some lovely holidays there – only I see that they now have a shop selling Kendall Mint Cake which they never used to have. Full of sugar it is, but it must be good as it were the staple food of Edmund Hillary when he went up Everest, so I guess it must be ok.
So the weather were that bad that I didn’t get very far the next few days, but it were nowt compared to what I found in Morecambe. Honestly: it used to be a nice quiet place full of sailors with wooden legs and sprightly pensioners with knotted handkerchiefs on their heads and kiss-me-quick sunglasses: only now there’s one of them Haven holiday resorts at the edge of town, so the place is full of families and teenagers. Not my sort of thing at all.
Then this week there were the incident in Preston: I were trying to order some food from room services, but there were so much crackling on the line that I ended up with a bloody Russian ambassador and a string quartet in me room instead of the bacon sandwich I were expecting. That took a lot of explaining to the hotel manager and I weren’t too happy when he tried to charge me extra.
Anyway: I’m in Manchester now – so there’s no telling what might happen to me now
TEXT FROM BERNARD “SPUD” MARIS TO MARGARET MILLS
Erd sum juicy gossip abt Mr Kemp with the bees
Tosser recons he saw im hangin about on Trinity St looking for drugs.
Ow wud Tosser know if sum1 was looking 2 buy drugs?