Monday, 25 October 2010

Poetry Bus - The Visitors

OK - so this week my good friend Argent has set the subject for the poetry bus.  The topic we were supposed to take was "meetings", but I have taken the term slightly loosly (alright, I threw it out the window, but it didn't get hurt - so no letters of complaint please) and thought I'd write a poem loosely based on a well known meeting.

So, and with apologies to Samuel Taylor-Coleridge, here is my poem about meetings (sort-of)

A Caution To Callers From Porlock

A person from Porlock came calling
Upon a bright summer’s day
I was out in my shed, when he messed with my head
And sent those daft visions away

He asked if I’d like double-glazing
I told him I’d had them all done
But he wouldn’t be gone, and he just carried on
So I snuck down and hid till he’d gone

I told him I never had needed
His patter, no matter how slick
But he just wouldn’t go and he couldn’t take no
So I had to resolve it and quick

A person from Porlock came calling
And gave me too many a thick head
But he’ll cause me no trouble, coz I fetched out my shovel
And I buried him under my shed


Argent said...

HAHAHA! So perish all such door-stepping, peace-shattering, pain-in-the-neck callers!

the watercats said...

thats the onbly thing for them. fortunately, living down a private boreen, six miles from the nearest town, halfway up a mountain range, ensures we usually escape the eejits of the planet trying to sell us stuff. Those most savvy of door knockers (the Jehovas), are the only people who've found us so far.. the mule was loose in the yard at the time though and I think she gave them a bit of a fright.. seems species harmony doesn't exsist yet!

The Bug said...

LOL! We hid in the house when we saw someone going door to door - but it turned out that they were handing out flyers for a city bill we were already planning on voting for. So we missed an opportunity to make them smile.

Kat Mortensen said...

I hide from Jehovah's Witnesses. Actually, I hide from anyone who comes to my door.


pohanginapete said...

Wonderful! If I ever manage to visit you, I'll be wearing a helmet ;^)

Like the watercats, I'm remote enough to avoid these kinds of visits, but when I was living in town, years ago, I got quite good at graciously and quickly sending them on their way.

Don't Feed The Pixies said...

Argent - indeed. I particularly dislike the next wave of door-steppers: the automated phone call. If they want you to buy the service they should at least talk to you.

Watercats - living up a mountain certainly seems to have advantages

Bug - i guess this shows that not all door knockers are unwelcome :)

Kat - i can't say I blame you

Pete - if you ever visit you will be welcome so long as you don't try and sell me double glazing!

Peter Goulding said...

Lovely bouncing rhythm, perfectly rhymed and a joy from start to finish.
Wish I'd written that!!

Jinksy said...

A wonderful tale of warning to any 'cold caller'. Briliant fun.

NanU said...

wonderful work!
My secret for these people is to not ever ever be home. And if I am, I don't speak the language.

Emerging Writer said...

super jovial rhythm and lovely twisted denouement

Don't Feed The Pixies said...

Peter - ta for that

Jinksy - cold callers: grrr

Nanu - not being home is always a good solution.

Emerging writer - clearly i usually just send them on their way...

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Don't Feed The Pixies said...

Emily - the only thing that's worse than cold callers at your door is people trying to sell you things on the internet without you wanting them to - don't you agree?

Don't Feed The Pixies said...

PS: Emily - incase you are wondering

Irony is NOT the same as Goldy and Bronzey except made out of iron...