Friday, 22 October 2010

And The Award Goes To…

OK – so some of you may have noticed that I haven’t been around much this last week – or most likely not to be fair. There’s far more interesting things to be noticing than the absence of my piffle for a few days.

This absence is due entirely to the evil machinations of my broadband suppliers who have taken every last opportunity to drag out what should have been a simple process for 11 days

And there’s lots of odd things that I’ve been thinking about whilst I was away: all of which could make potential posts before I fall back into the habit of Wordzzle/Poetry Bus entries – if my creative spirit were so motivated.

Like I was going to tell you about my new cat (and please keep an eye out because this post WILL happen), and I was going to bring you a list of top 5 concept albums (and may still do so) and discuss at length the health and safety implications of Alexander cutting the Gordian knot (no, not really)

Also – I was going to tell you how frustrating I’ve found my latest art course and why I’m at the point of giving up on the whole damn thing – but to be honest my creative batteries seem to be quite low at the moment, so I won’t be doing that at the moment either.

Instead I will tell you briefly of something I really should start doing. This is, in part, brought about by the recent Evil Machinations of my Broadband supplier, but also in reaction to an increasingly bizarre world

Like the other day I was out with Our Kid and some random woman approached in the street and just when I thought she was going to ask for directions she asked me if I ever drank cider.

I politely (or impolitely) ignored her existence and carried on walking, but for just a second I did wish that I had, ready in my pocket, an award for the Most Random Question asked of me that I could hand out.

And I would like to encourage you all to produce some small awards and laminate them and keep them ready in your pockets for special occasions: because people who help (and hinder) us should be advised of such

So – here’s a few recent awards I would like to hand out (admittedly belatedly):

London Underground Train-guard who read out the train times in the style of a Darts Commentator – Award for the Person Who Made My Day Bearable

Music shop assistants all over the world – Most Miserable Employee Of The Month Award

Anyone on a bus loudly discussing their personal lives – Conversation I Could Have Happily Lived Without Hearing Award

Or: Person Most Mistakenly Believing Themselves To Be Funny Award

So please go forth, spread the word and produce some awards – the only rules are 1) you can only give out one of each until all of them are given out and you start again 2) if you’re going to be rude to people join a gym/take up karate first

As you can imagine the Minions Of Satan award goes to the IT Support Staff for my Broadband suppliers – put it on display somewhere dark and warm why don’t you?

1 comment:

English Rider said...

Award for consistently missing the opportunity to say nothing. I mentioned this award to a client recently, as his wife stormed off. There's a reason I'm self-employed. Maybe I earned the same award?