Sunday, 28 February 2010

TFE's Monday Poem

Don't Talk To Me About Life...

Come home in darkness to an empty house
Take a moment to feed the cat
Stretch out and wait to change my mood
Wonder what the hell is the point

Come home in darkness to an empty cat
Take a moment to feed the mood
Stretch out and wait to change my point
Think that life can be shit

Come home in darkness to an empty mood
Take a moment to see the point
Stretch out and wait and change my shit
Switch on the TV and sigh

Come home in darkness to an empty point
Take a moment to feed this shit
Stretch out and wait to an elongated sigh
Feel a little better for a while


Totalfeckineejit said...

Quirky, different, I likes it!

Argent said...

I like the changing around of the ideas in each successive verse. I've got a couple of permanently empy cats here - so they they tell me.

Rachel Fox said...

You do monotony very well!

Moira said...

I really like it, all of the verses work for me.

Niamh B said...

Yeah, quite depressing apart from that little chink of light at the very end - like it very much!

Karen said...

...and then do it over and over and over! I like!

the watercats said...

I seriously like this lots!... and I know this feeling sooo well.. apart from the feeding cat thing.. i don't have a cat. You write with such an englishness! You're like a strange living incarnation of the british suburbs... hope you don't take that as a terrible thing, it's meant as a compliment :-) There is so much character, good, bad, weird, lost, etc.. just great!

Emerging Writer said...

That's great. I may have to steal the idea...a bit like Wendy Cope
I am a poet.
I am very find of bananas
I am bananas
I am very fond of a poet

NanU said...

ohmygosh, this is a very scary poem.
What happened to the cat?!
Please tell me the cat is ok.
You see, it is all too very effective! Excellent work.

Poetikat said...

I liked the inversions and I'm partial to the cat bits.

willow said...

Kinda like Ground Hog's Day.

Don't Feed The Pixies said...

all - thank you for visiting.

The idea just started out as what would happen if the words at the end of the sentence could almost fit anywhere else in the poem and developed along those lines. It ended up a bit grimmer, probably due to all those endless bus journeys, but i went for a hopeful ending

The cat is fine btw and much loved

Peter Goulding said...

Interesting idea and it works really well.

Titus said...

God, I'm stalking Peter about at the moment and he is saying everything I want to say.

I really loved this, it's quirky and yet bleak and yet funny and yet tragic and it just really worked for me!