Friday, 23 October 2009

Wordzzle 86

I’m back again – and thanks to Argent for promising to post me onto Mr Linky, as i am likely to be unable to get onto the interweb at the weekend

Since so few of you clenched your fists and shook them at the sky shouting “Curse you pixie for your story of an elderly lady” Maggie returns this week for a second episode

For those of you who don’t know how a Wordzzle works the rules can be found here

Each week we are given a set of ten words for the main bout, five for the “mini” or support act and all fifteen for the mega. The words of choice are:
Incensed, sidewinder (rattlesnake), bogus, conniption (a fit of excitement), Haz-mat (hazardous material), conniving, customize, perforated, zeal, rolling off a log

And for the mini: abstemious, chlorophyll, origami, cheerleader, dung beetle

This week’s Wordzzle gave me a few problems, because there were a number of words that neither of my two characters to date would know, let alone use. However, it did give me the opportunity to bring in another story element…slightly earlier than originally planned, but hey-ho!

And apologies for the slight moment of cheating: no doubt Michael Stipe is being called and informed that someone is trying to wake someone else as we speak...

Week Two – Helmsdale to Inverness (71 miles)

From “CNN Live, Tuesday 20th October”
“Well Tony, there’s been a high degree of conniption here today in Salt Lake City as we wait for the result from the Scientists, but there’s still no news on whether the Haz-mat was disposed of safely. We’ll bring you an update as and when we know something more”

“Thank you Kelly. Good evening I’m Tony Flowers and you’re watching CNN Live. News from around the world now: British police are refusing to confirm if the elderly woman who stopped a Bank Robbery in Scotland yesterday evening is Margaret Mills, the retired Hotel Manager who went missing from her home early last week. Mrs Mills, 74, is wanted by the Police for questioning in connection with…”

Dear Spud

There was a bit of excitement on Monday when I was in Dornoch. You know what Bank’s are like on a Monday: everyone who didn’t cash in on Saturday is there with all their pennies. I had to leave my scooter outside and use the zimmer frame. Talking of which, please do thank Tosser for helping customize mine to be collapsible – it fits so much easier onto the scooter.

Anyway – I had my paying in book and my pension slip ready and this bloke comes in dressed same as a Policeman…only I could tell he was bogus, due to the fact that Police on the beat don’t usually have Velcro strips on the side of their trousers.

And he pushed his way to the front of the queue! Straight up to the cashier and handed over a piece of paper. Well I was incensed! Who the bloody hell did he think he was pushing past me as had stood there for half an hour?

So I let him have it, my zimmer frame that is. Don’t think he knew what hit him till he was crawling on the ground like a wounded dung beetle.

The manager of the bank was all over me, wanting to give me an award or some such nonsense, so of course I told him to sod off and just let me cash me pension cheque in peace.

All a load of fuss over nothing if you ask me, so I got meself out of there sharpish before the conniving git of a manager managed to work out a way of getting himself promoted thanks to me

Anyways, you don’t want to hear a lot of nonsense about some bank – so back to me journey. I caught the Merkle Ferry from Dornoch. Lovely ride that were – water as calm as if someone had applied chlorophyll to the waves. I bought meself a camera, not one of the new-fangled digital gizmos, but one of those disposable types, with a side-winder to move the film on.

Took some pictures of Foulis Castle, which were in very good condition I have to say. I was tempted to buy some of the shortbread, save meself the price of developing the film on account of the fact the picture of the Castle was on the tin, but the tin had one of those perforated edges that always cuts me fingers and besides, “I’m trying to be abstemious” as Reverend Johns would say, whatever the bloody hell abstemious means…must have swallowed a dictionary as a kid that’s all I can say – all those long words coming out of his mouth easy as rolling off a log.

Anyways, I stopped for the night in Dingwall, then again in Craigton where I got another ferry to North Kessock and finally ended up in Inverness early this morning. The hotel manager is certainly full of zeal for the place, but I have to say it’s a bit grim for my tastes.

Oh – just to finish lad – I got your text, but I couldn’t figure out how to respond. I tried the people in Tourist Information, but they were no bloody help at all


Exhibit 12b: Text sent from mobile no ********, Mr Bernard “Spud” Maris to ******** Margaret Mills, Thursday 22nd Oct 2009, 1700:


U were rite, Debs sed Yes. Can’t beleve am d8ing cheerleeder.

Tosser says wot do u want doin w ur copy of Origami Munthly – I sez leave on dining table. Hope that ok?


BTW: woz that u on telly?


Argent said...

Bravo! Great use of some very awkward words. I'm lucky, my story is set in the US but you nailed it, I'd say. I love the ongoing texts as well. I put you on Mr Linky, so hopefully more folks will happen by here.

Akelamalu said...

Oh yes, some of the words this week were stinkers for sure but you did a great job incorporating them. :)

Dr.John said...

You not only did a great job with the words but you wrote a very enjoyable story. You made the old lady so real I think I know her. Met her on my visit to England.

Raven said...

Utterly Brilliant! And such a clever way to dispose of Haz-mat! Looking forward to the continuation of Maggie's excellent adventure. I love the text messages. Just wonderful through and through - and you too made these terribly difficult words seem easy. Brava!

Reston Friends! said...

I am SO sorry for those words -- everyone hates me now!

But you did a great job with them! Love the texting touch...

Fandango said...

We dragons have fallen in love with the old lady you created. She is the kind of human that just stands out from the others.
Good writing.

Don't Feed The Pixies said...

Argent - thanks for the help! You can expect more from Spud via text!

Akelamalu - thanks for visiting and glad you enjoyed them!

Dr John - we get all sorts of characters in the UK and Maggie is certainly reminiscent of some of them!

Raven - the Haz-Mat et al gave me some trouble because now i have to explain why USA News is interested in a little old lady. Wait and see...

Reston - never apologise! A good challenge is good for the brain!

Fandango - am honoured to be visited by the dragons and Maggie would be chuffed to bits to know you like her xx

the watercats said...

We're late!.. mind you, tw'as worth the wait, I'm about to go and read this weeks entry now.. you've certainly got a way with the old words!