So it seems that over at Willow Manor they’re having something of an Ocktoberfest and are inviting everyone who wants to participate to throw their own individual party, all on Wednesday 12th October, or thereabouts.
And despite the fact that you will always recognize me at parties by the fact that I’m the one sitting in a corner constantly checking their watch, I’ve decided to present an invite and some ideas of what will be happening at MY idea of a party (with tongue ever so slightly in cheek) – along with a pome I’ve previously published on this blog.
Casual - None of this Smart-Casual nonsense: no one really knows what that means anyway. Jeans, trainers, t-shirt – or whatever you feel comfortable in. Prize for best costume will be that you will be locked in one of the cells until you are prepared to dress normally.
Cheese, Sausage, Pineapple – served on cocktail sticks (has to be done)
Crudite – no idea what one is or how you cook it, but it looks impressive on a menu (joke – I was once attacked by a particularly large Crudite)
Quiche (see brackets for Cheese on stick)
Sausage Rolls (slightly singed)
Lobster Thermidore in a mornet sauce
Spam, Spam, Spam, Baked Beans and Spam
Buffet menu from favourite Indian Restaurant (yum, yum, yum and indeed yum)
Served 80% vegetarian to placate the Celery Crunchers and ensure that the Meat eaters don’t eat all the meat plus all the veggie food
IN THE BLUE ROOM
BB King and his all star band Ft Eric Clapton, Roy Orbison, Bruce Springsteen
Elvis Presley will attend later, time permitting
Batman and Robin will be dancing the Batusi
Maybe they’ll let me join in with the band – I’d settle for rhythm guitar, maybe a solo somewhere – or to join in on saxophone
IN THE DISCO ROOM
NO Dexy’s Midnight Runners, no ABBA, no Grease megamix and DEFINITELY no Macarena
Persons found sitting in a line on the dance floor and pretending to row to “oops, upside your head” will be forcibly ejected
IN THE MAIN LOBBY
Entertainment from Mr Saxman, my music teacher. Quite frankly I’d be quite happy spending the evening listening to him play – damn, but he’s good.
From 8:30pm until 11:30pm – bearing in mind it’s a school night.
Or maybe I’d just go to whichever party these guys wrote that song about… (scroll down past the video for the poem)
Get This Party Started
At the end of the world disco party
The crowd splits to two different rooms
The believers in one quietly praying
Whilst Satan keeps all the best tunes
With the Judgement day finally over
They wait for the main star to appear
From the back of his private stretch limo
And finally make his plan clear
The lights dim, the music starts playing
The smoke machine belches a haze
And in white suit and medallion God enters
Still moving in mysterious ways
- we couldn't finish a post about parties without mentioning possibly the second worst song of all time. Worst being "Stop The Cavalry" by the same artist -