Tuesday, 4 October 2011

Cheese Rap

I tried to write a rap - and since I am in no way shape or form built to perform Rap (I'm not so much Street as Cul-de-sac) I tried to think of a subject as un-Gangsta as I could...

(NB if you're a Beastie Boys fan try shouting the last word of each line for added effect)

I was sitting on my own, flicking on the TV
But something from the fridge kept a callin me
Da Red Leicester block just kept calling me back
If i couldn't get my cheese i'd have to turn to crack

So I tried to lay it down for fermented milk
Maybe just Gruyere, or something of that ilk
Full flavor in da house, for that i still yearn
maybe with a rind or fresh from the churn

Gimme cheese, give me what i need, white lightning, cheese gimme cheese, gimme what i need
Gimme cheese, give me what i need, white lightning, cheese gimme cheese, gimme what i need


Still i tried to turn away, but it was way too near
All that tempting Danish Blue and fragrant Paneer
Leerdamer is my weakness and the Edam's makes me whinny
But nothing can replace the Dorset Blue Vinney

Yes there is no place right now that i would rather be
than sat here with a drink and a slice of Brie
Yes a lack of calcium can leave me way too pale
If i cant get my cranberries stuffed into Wensleydale


So listen to tha' rhymes that'll leave you illin
Till i get my slice of cheese there will be no chillin'
You can get it from the dairy at the corner shop
So come and join along with some Hereford Hop
Hop, h-h-h-op, Hereford Hop
Hop, h-h-h-op, Hereford Hop

9 comments:

Peter Goulding said...

I took a large rock to my local store.
The manager shouted "Hey, what's that Roquefort?"
I said "I need cheese or I'm gonna start wiltin'"
So he said, "we've a special offer on Stilton."

Damn - this could be contagious...

Don't Feed The Pixies said...

loving it :)

The Bug said...

I thought of Peter Goulding when I read this & lo & behold there he is!

Great fun! I'm eating an apple right now. You know what would be good with it? Cheese! A nice sharp cheddar. Mmmm...

Stephen Hayes said...

Your attempt at Rap is much better than my attempt at country music a few years back. Hang in there, Bro!

Argent said...

You gotta like my rhyme, gotta love the way I pen it.
'Cos I really love da milky after it be dosed wit' rennet.
You know I have a theory 'bout how cheese will spice a dish up.
Doesn't matter if it's edam, brie or even stinkin' bishop.

It IS cathing!

Anonymous said...
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Friko said...

I hardly dare show my face here, rap or no rap: I don't (can't) eat cheese.

Don't Feed The Pixies said...

Bug - apple and cheese....mmmmmmm

Stephen - maybe i should try a bit of country myself :)

Argent - glad to see you catching the cheese bug

Friko - oh no!!!!! You poor thing!!!

pohanginapete said...

Love it — the only rap I've ever liked. :^)