Video posted for Lydia at Writerquake
So the inevitable happened: I got a "funny" (note quotation marks) email from someone at work the other day.
Hi Pixie - someone was telling me that you do funerals and my pet guinea pig Gulbinder died the other day. I was wondering if you would do a service for him and give me a discount?
Well - because i knew the person who had sent it i knew that they weren't serious...but i was determined to treat it seriously just in case and responded:
Hi B - yes, i am trained as a Funeral Celebrant. If you are serious about holding a ceremony for your guinea pig i will be happy to talk to you about the details
And of course - no response.
Later on i went over to his desk to see if he had received the email and discovered that a) Gulbinder really was dead and b) the email had been a joke. I repeated that i was serious about offering a service if he wanted one and asked him what he had done with the body
"It's in my freezer"
I looked at him seriously, 'You ARE joking?' I asked.
'No' B responded, 'it won't be a health concern there - perfectly cold'
Shocked and stunned i responded, 'You can't keep a dead animal in your fridge. Apart from the fact its extremely unhygenic and you'll have to clean out your freezer, its also disrespectful to the deceased to shove the body next to your frozen peas and pizza'
B assured me that he would "do something soon" about arranging a decent burial.
This was two weeks ago.
As we speak Gulbinder is still very much stuffed in the back of someone's fridge freezer doing a very good impression of a Guinea pig-popsicle