Wednesday, 8 July 2009

Song For A Friend (and other stories)

Video posted for Lydia at Writerquake

So the inevitable happened: I got a "funny" (note quotation marks) email from someone at work the other day.

Hi Pixie - someone was telling me that you do funerals and my pet guinea pig Gulbinder died the other day. I was wondering if you would do a service for him and give me a discount?

Well - because i knew the person who had sent it i knew that they weren't serious...but i was determined to treat it seriously just in case and responded:

Hi B - yes, i am trained as a Funeral Celebrant. If you are serious about holding a ceremony for your guinea pig i will be happy to talk to you about the details

And of course - no response.

Later on i went over to his desk to see if he had received the email and discovered that a) Gulbinder really was dead and b) the email had been a joke. I repeated that i was serious about offering a service if he wanted one and asked him what he had done with the body

"It's in my freezer"

I looked at him seriously, 'You ARE joking?' I asked.
'No' B responded, 'it won't be a health concern there - perfectly cold'

Shocked and stunned i responded, 'You can't keep a dead animal in your fridge. Apart from the fact its extremely unhygenic and you'll have to clean out your freezer, its also disrespectful to the deceased to shove the body next to your frozen peas and pizza'

B assured me that he would "do something soon" about arranging a decent burial.

This was two weeks ago.

As we speak Gulbinder is still very much stuffed in the back of someone's fridge freezer doing a very good impression of a Guinea pig-popsicle


English Rider said...

I have a friend who is "On Ice" in a very expensive Arizona Cryogenics facility, waiting for there to be a cure.
Thank goodness your colleague didn't own a camel!

the watercats said...

Oh my god!.... English rider!?.. do they ACTUALLY do that stuff over there!?... I thought that was complete fiction!...
Mind you... in this day and age I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.
As for the guinea pig... guess he's gone back to where his breed originated from..... Chile....

(sorry.....) :-D

English Rider said...

Now that I think about it, guinea pigs are food. Dare you suggest that?
Watercats sure woke up witty today!

Don't Feed The Pixies said...

English - there's a particular line in bad jokes alluding to the fact that the touring show "Walt Disney On Ice" hides a darker meaning.

Love the comment about the camel!

Watercats - consider yourself groaned at (and myself amused)

raccoonlover1963 said...

Hi Pixie. Love the choice of song. I haven't heard it for years. I can't believe somebody would put their dead pet in the freezer! I would be throwing all the food away that was in there with it!
Thanks for visiting and for your comments.
Take care and have a great weekend.

Argent said...

It does seem odd to put your dead pet in the freezer, but unless you're a veggie, there's going to be plenty of dead meat in there already. I'd be interested to read a eulogy for a guinea-pig.

Don't Feed The Pixies said...

Lisa - good to have you back. Peter Gabriel is one of my favourite artists. I tried to play "Don't Give Up" myself ones - but it's in 3/4 time and my keyboard only seems to want to program in 4/4

Argent - well let's put it this way: if you found out that The Ritz was storing dead pets in its fridges it would be closed down and you would never be eating there: so i won't be inviting myself to dinner at his house any time soon!

Lydia said...

Hey Dear One, as you can tell I am using a goodly portion of the wee hours here to catch up with your blog(s). I couldn't believe when I saw that this beautiful video was for me, and I am so touched. Really. I love Peter Gabriel; his voice is like no one else and his music is deep. This video with Kate Bush is very powerful. I could nearly feel those hugs they were giving to one another. (You can never get enough hugs, ever, and I thank you for these virtual ones that felt so good.)