Thursday, 22 August 2013

Barry (With Apologies To Leonard Cohen)

Barry takes you down
To his place above the chip shop
You can hear the trucks go by
You can smell potatoes frying
And you know that he’s half crazy
And you’d really like to leave now
But he feeds you bread and marmite
That came all the way from Tesco’s
And he shows you his apartment
And it really is quite grotty
And just when you mean to tell him
That you’ve got to catch the late bus
He offers you some biscuits
That have chocolate on one side
That just seem so very tempting

And you want to call a taxi
When he tells you all the time
He’s been wearing womens’ undies
Now you’ll never wipe that image from your mind

Barry used to be a sailor
At the local water centre
And he used to own a speedboat
That he won on some old game show
But when he knew for certain
He was moving to the chip shop
He swapped it for a Rover
Which came all the way from Luton
And he gets out some more biscuits
With some jam in and rice paper
And he’s got a stamp collection
That could clearly last for hours

And there’s no sign of that taxi
And you’ve lost track of the time
And you’re thinking of those knickers
Yes you know you’ll never get them off your mind

Now Barry takes your hand
And he leads you to the chip shop
But the food is far too greasy
And your ulcer is complaining
And he really is depressing
As he talks of stamp collections
But he gets out some more biscuits
And this time they’re digestives
And you start to feel quite guilty
That you find him oh so dreary
He is leaning out for love
And will be that way forever
So you eat another biscuit

And you finally hear that taxi
And he chases you outside
Still wearing women’s knickers
And that image never fades within your mind

By the way - my blog is only allowing me to create posts in HTML - does anyone have any ideas what i can do about this?

5 comments:

The Bug said...

That is BRILLIANT!! But I kind of feel sorry for Barry... And, as you know, it really needs recording :)

I have the HTML problem trying to create posts at work (where we use internet explorer). I assumed it was a problem with our security filters or some such, but maybe it's the web browser. I don't have any issues at home where I use Google Chrome. (Although as I recall it defaults to HTML & then I switch to "compose" which is a new phenomenon).

Don't Feed The Pixies said...

Aaah - i think you may be onto something Bug! Thanks x

Stephen Hayes said...

I'm not technical enough to offer any help but I'll keep my fingers crossed that someone can provide you with a solution.

Argent said...

Hahaha. Record it!

Lydia said...

The Bug is 100% correct. This is BRILLIANT! I love it, and sang it all the way through - with a few outbursts of uncontrollable laughter.

Argent is 100% correct. You should record this. Oh, how I wish Leonard Cohen could read/hear these lyrics. I bet he would invite you back stage for a biscuit!