Tuesday, 31 July 2012

Phish Out Of Water

So I've had this amazing, never-been-done-before idea for a new TV show

It's called Phish Out Of Water.

The action revolves around former Submarine Commander Stephen Phish (pronounced Fisk for added comedy value when he has to constantly correct people) who, for various reasons, finds himself living in the heart of rural England, somewhere like Berwick-Upon-Tweed

Phish, with his militaristic ways, is a stickler for organisation and etiquette and can be seen as hard-to-get along with and often rubs people up the wrong way
So: sort of like Hart Of Dixie, Doc Marten, Monarch Of The Glen

Phish has saved up a lot of money via mostly living in a large sardine can underwater for the last 15 years or so and his new found wealth in a society of old money can be another bone of contention, especially when his navy mannerisms don't gell with his new financial status
So: sort of like Fresh Prince Of Bel Air, Monarch Of The Glen

There should be a love interest for Phish, with whom he sparks and argues with an ongoing "will they/won't they" storyline - preferably there should be some barrier to their relationship (she could be a married catholic or something)
So:  sort of like all of the above, plus Ballykissangel

Phish should find it hard to adapt to the new world and find the mannerisms and ways of the locals both quaint and frustrating and in total contrast to "life as he knows it"
So: like Hart of Dixie, Suburgatory, Ballykissangel etc

The locals should ascribe to every possible cultural stereotype for Berwick-upon-Tweedians.  Not sure what these should be, but if we shove in a "chancer" Irishman (or Oirish, as all Irish people on telly have the same accent, regardless of where they are from), a "delusions of grandeur/hell bent on etiquette" woman and a "wise mentor/soothsayer" pipe smoking tramp then we should be 90% of the way there
So: sort of like Ballykissangel/Heartbeat/etc

So there you go then: Phish Out Of Water.  An entirely new format for a TV show that we haven't seen a million times before...honest

(and ok, yeah - I admit to having watched all of the above examples on more than one occasion)


The Bug said...

But I thought all British villages had a retired officer of some sort in them? The Major, or The Admiral or some such. Have I been reading the wrong books?

Anyway, I would definitely watch Phish Out Of Water if it were to show up on my television :)

Stephen Hayes said...

I think you have a marketable idea here. Time to work up what Hollywood folks call, "A treatment." Then time to peddle it.

goatman said...

And you could use the band as the sound track. I would watch -- and listen.
Just passin thru . . .

Don't Feed The Pixies said...

bug - dammit, i knew i'd forgotten to include a cliche! Yes - it definately needs a retired officer called the Admiral, preferably from the army so that he or she is disproving of Phish's subaquatic background

Stephen - our appetite for fish, i mean Phish out of water stories does seem to be endless

goatman - yes, i'd forgotten about the sound track, it needs something that vaguely suggests more depth than is actually in the programme

Argent said...

Haha, thought it was going to be Meriden, Berwick's up on the Scottish border, so maybe we need some stereotypical scots as well. Called Angus, cos they're all called that, aren't they? Don't forget the village busybody and maybe a comedy policeman.