Friday, 11 November 2011

The Defining Moment

I don't think I've ever had that defining moment - the moment where, all of a sudden, everything just clicks and you go "ah..."

I've always kinda fallen into things whilst stumbling about through life, wondering what it was all about and where it was all going.  If one were to look at the chain of events that led me to meet Herself, for instance, there would be very little logical path to follow: no single choice, but a series of small steps (ones which it is worth mentioning i am very greatful i took).

I certainly never had such a moment when it comes to work anyway.  If I were to nip back in time and tell my 10 year old self that I was not going to become a bus driver (bus driver's get lots of tea breaks) but would end up working in some hard-to-explain IT Support role he would probably blink at me before going back to playing on his latest video game.

When I left school I wanted to be a photographer: pretty much because it was the only thing that I had, at that point, shown much aptitude for - but it soon became clear that actually there was no career to be had in this and so I learned how to type and us a computer pretty much on the grounds that most jobs were seeming to need computer skills.  From there I pretty much have gone where the wind would take me, taking extra experience and responsibilities as and when they were offered with no particular end game in mind.

Even now I flit from interest to interest, like a moth drawn towards a light bulb, trying to experience it all and never settling on a single one.  I'm not sure that I could if I wanted to: creativity is a funny thing and it can bounce off in all sorts of wonderful directions, but sometimes I do wish that I could concentrate on something long enough to get good at it.

So I couldn't help but wonder the last time I went to the Dentist about those paths and the choices we all make and the little steps that define who we are.

And I couldn't help but ask - what was it?  What was that defining moment?  At what point in their lives did that person stop in the middle of the street with a little lightbulb over their head and think, "I know what I want to do every day for the rest of my life!  Look at other people's teeth!"

Oh to have such clarity.


The Bug said...

LOL - my job path has been the same as yours. I majored in Accounting in college, but I've never used that degree. Come to think of it, the path that led me to Dr. M was fairly circuitous too. It's kind of interesting, looking back.

I did have a moment of blinding clarity about what I did NOT want to do - the idea of poking at people's teeth with sharp instruments? No thank you!

Argent said...

I think it's quite rare for a person to know from the outset what they want to do in life. My older sister is one of those people, however. She always wanted to be a nurse from when she was tiny and that's what she became.

Me, no idea what I wanted (I had vague dreams to be a translator, but that didn't pan out). My life has also been one of goal-less drifting about.

You are not alone.

English Rider said...

Your identity is "multifaceted". That's not bad at all.
I had a clear and passionate vocation for all things Horse. I let life side-track me after the first fifteen years of that career and there are many compromises that I regret, in hindsight. Another thirty years down the line and in my heart, I still know who I am. I am that Horse person, albeit (mostly) without a horse.

Michael said...

You should ask your dentist next time. I'm gonna.

And everything else: me too. I would like to do a job where I was all in instead of "eh, it's better than manual labour."

I'm toying with the idea that there's no such thing as an all in job. Maybe I (we) need to just be all in for life no matter what we are doing.

Just be all in.

Lydia said...

Such a marvelous commentary. Really fascinating look inside your mind.

I drifted a lot in my career also, and wish I had had the kind of clarity you mentioned. You might really be onto something, Pixie....interview people in that way!

I'd write more but the Occupy Portland movement is being cleared by police right now and it is getting dicey on the streets. Coverage is live and I gotta go watch.

Jessica Maybury said...

I had a moment in the shower a few days ago, actually. My first kind of one. It was just that yes, life is meaningless and pointless & its up to you to make yours have a point. I guess everyone knew this already maybe but I'm a bit oblivious.

As for general plans, yeah I just flail around. It's been working pretty well so far!

Jerry said...

I appreciate those that dabble and come away with little spurts of knowledge. I understand that trajectory. Dress it up and simply say that you are a Renaissance Man.

Don't Feed The Pixies said...

Bug - not knowing can be just as interesting - i'm just fascinated by those that do know

Argent - good to know. We should form a band called the Drifters (i think that's been done though...)

English - following that path allowed you to appreciate what you had

Michael - i agree. Whatever you're doing and how many things you are doing you should do them as best you can. Dentists aren't the only ones - what about those Doctors that specialise in certain parts of the anatomy - what was the moment when they realised that was the one for them?

Lydia - what if the answer is that they also drifted? Hope the coverage was interesting

Jessica, ah well - the best laid plans of mice...

Jerry - ha ha, yes i think i may well be a renaissance man then

Friko said...

No, the person who became a dentist thought : i can't do medicine, but I could do dentistry and still earn shedloads of money and have lots of holidays in the Seychelles.

Or perhaps dentistry runs in the family?

Don't Feed The Pixies said...

Friko - what if you wanted to be a Dentist and then discovered that you fainted at the sight of plaque?

bummer :)