Sunday, 18 July 2010

Poetry Bus - All Pomed Out

Greetings fellow bloggers and it's great to be here taking part in my friend Argent's Poetry Bus, as sponsored by Total Feckin Eejit.

And it's been a few weeks since I've been on the bus as I've been a bit pomed out since hosting it myself (and thanks to everyone who played - it was a great response)

And this week the challenge is to make people laugh with examples of our comedy, or to share our thoughts on Unrequited Love

So - I have three entries this week: the first of which is one that, for some unknown reason, Hallmark (the greeting card company) turned down. I can't imagine why.

Love Is...

Love is a Whale lying on a beach
Love is a goal that’s always out of reach
Love is a bottle on a hotel room table
Love is a highly charged electricity cable

Love is a slashed wrist in a shower room scene
Love is a foolish and impossible dream
Love is a bitter pill that you come to rely on
Love is just another floor on which to throw your nylon

Love is a toy that’s never built to last
Love is a question that never gets asked
Love is a rumour that burns inside your heart
Love is a stranger that haunts you in the dark.

OK - so not the happiest of pomes, and for a bit of light relief I want you to think about folk music.

Now - I don't know what folk music means to you where you live but here in the UK several things spring to mind:
* Big, home-knitted wooly jumpers (made from Goat's wool, never sheep)
* Blokes with Art Garfunkel hair and beards the size of a bush
* Pipe smokers (and definately Real Ale drinkers)
* Said beardy bloke standing at the mike with a finger in one ear, his eyes screwed closed and starting each line with a long "Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh...." before going on about having "e-spied a couple o' lovers' whilst walking 'in the merry month of may'

So here, for your delectation and delight, is a little known song from entirely fictional Folk group called The Pickled Gherkins:

Folk Song

When I was out a walking, in the merry month of may
I espied a couple of lovers, at it in the hay
And there I walked with Mary, who was me true love fair
Until I found she was a man, that's a wig and not her hair!

Singing walk with me, come walk with me, along me garden path
But there's many a snake would bite you, so watch out for your ass
And many a time we'll walk this way and think back to the day
When we were all young lovers, at it in the hay

My daddy was a wealthy man, he was a merchant banker
And many times he'd sail to sea, like a ship without an anchor
Me mammy used to say to me 'becareful what you trust'
And then one day she went outside, and got knocked down by a bus


ok - and apologies to everyone in the known world for that little song.

Finally, despite the request for unrequited love pomes I would like to submit the below ditty, which I wrote for my partner - sometimes referred to on this blog as "herself"

I wrote this about the time that A-ha's penultimate album "analogue" came out, so it's quite influenced by that. I will post the song on my music gadget, so if anyone wants to hear how it goes they can do so. Anyways - here goes:

(NB: for those of you who do listen, the piano you can hear is played by the multi-talented Argent of Delusions Of Adequacy fame)

Changes In The Wind

The waves are breaking on the beach, as the daylight slips away
I want to say a thousand things, but there’s nothing left to say
Though I’m here, in the dark, still I feel the light around me
And I won’t, be alone, while I feel your love inside me

And life don’t matter, money don’t matter
It’s all, just changes, in the wind
And changes can’t break you, because love can save you
And while, I’m with you, we can win

I dream of coming home again, to put my arms around you
I’m finally feeling positive, since the day that I first found you
For we’re here, in this world, and we’ve only got each other
And I know, in my heart, I could never live without you


Gwei Mui said...

Hi DFTP I have such admiration for writers who can pen the humorous and witty - it just seems tom allude me.
I cannot think why Hallmark would have turned down your first poem! I thought it was grand lol.
The folksong was perfect I loved it it'll be ringing round my head for the rest of the day.

Argent said...

I'm just wondering what the picture on the card would be for that first pome! Teddy bear with slashed wrists, maybe? Bunny rabbit hanging in a noose. Bambi necking a bottle of sleeping pills... Can't see why they would have turned THAT down. Three great offerings this week. Cheers.

Helen said...

A triple treat! Wonderful!

Peter Goulding said...

Well, those batteries are super recharged!! I love the Hallmark one - you never get such interesting verses!!

The Bug said...

I enjoyed your three - but I like the last song best. Requited love is great!

Lydia said...

Wow; thanks for putting the song up on your machine as it added to the pleasure of #3 for me. I especially like the chorus musically-quite beautiful. Argent plays exquisitely too, doesn't she? ....

As #1 was my favorite and I think it would make a marvelous card, perhaps Hallmark would be more pleased with it if you set it to music for one of those singing cards. Still no? Then you should create an ecard site with this as your flagship card. :)

Erratic Thoughts said...

Love is all that...Neatly described...Hit right on the nail...I loved your poem very much!
Lyrics of those folk songs depict such vivid images...
Hey DFTP, thank you for mentioning those folk numbers.I was unaware of them :)

Enchanted Oak said...

Your bus tickets this week are fantabulous! I'm holding onto my seat with laughter over Love is a Whale on the beach and your hysterical folk song. Lovely that you ended on a heart-warming true love's tale.

Jeanne Iris said...

DFTP, the love poem captures every emotion of love, and your songs are pure genius. Thanks for the folk song background. A little different here in the States. Of course, that depends on where in the States one is listening to the folk artists. True artists at work here!

Dianne said...

oh so funny I had wine coming out my nose....well like that anyway.
and the love poem was exactly on target. I know that poem.
enjoyed your site, I'll be back!

Don't Feed The Pixies said...

Gwei - thanks for visiting. I think the trick is just to be yourself and not try too hard. I set out recently to try and write a funny poem and it was terrible!

Argent - it's hard to believe that hallmark weren't interested, it could be an entire new range for them.

helen - thanks for visiting

Peter - i find buying cards so difficult because the messages are usually too twee or full of fart jokes. no happy medium inbetween

Bug - isn't it just :)

Lydia - not entirely sure who would buy the card, but you never know.

Erratic - you remember those annoying cartoons in the newspapers? "Love is..." i think the pome was a reaction to those

Enchanted - hope you were able to let go of the chair!

Jeanne - I'm nearly sure that folk isn't really like that. Nearly. It's just that every folk act i've ever seen has been long haired, fingers in ears and singing about druids, so i can't be entirely sure!

Dianne - look forward to seeing you again. hopefully this time you'll keep your drink down!

the watercats said...

just LOL!... love it :-)
oh.. and can't abide stephen king... far too self indulgently descriptive for my liking.. :-)

Totalfeckineejit said...

A hat trick! £ winners.First raw and powerful, second hilarious and accurate satire, third one heartfelt and beautiful.

The man from Del Monte , he say...YES!!

Totalfeckineejit said...

OOps , that should have been 3 winners not £ winners, though come to think of it.........

Don't Feed The Pixies said...

watercats - thanks, King was good once, believe it or not.

TFE - always a pleasure