Monday, 5 January 2009

The Best Laid Plans Of Mice…

About 15 minutes to midnight on December 31st I made the stupid mistake of deciding to switch off the lights. The next thing I knew fireworks were going off – I stayed awake long enough to mutter a quick “Happy New Year” to my partner and to the cats and the next thing I knew it was morning.

Sometimes life’s like that though – like today I saw a report in the free newspaper on the bus that most teenagers think life is pointless. Well duh!

I have a friend (yes, I know – amazing: a whole friend all to myself!) who says that life is a sexually transmitted disease with 100% fatality, which only goes to back up what Obi-Wan Kenobi said about all truths depending on your point of view.

Taking a slightly meandering route towards my eventual point for this posting I’d just like to mention that the thing I miss most about going to the Gym (can’t really afford at present with my salary/mortgage etc) is January – when you get to watch all the New Year’s Resolutionaries pay a year’s membership, hog all the machines for a week or so and then slowly drift off until attendance returns to its normal levels.

But to return to the subject, and via way of quoting Talk Talk, life’s what you make it. 2008 was a bit of a wasted year for me – my plans for the house were spoiled due to the resolutely awful weather, my novel hit yet another speed bump and got turned down a dead end street leaving me with the feeling that the SatNav of my imagination had been stolen and the thieves had gone through my belongings whilst they were at it.

I’ve ended up taking jobs that I didn’t want to take in order to pay the bills, I’ve felt like everything was designed to stop me from achieving my dreams. I’ve felt like those teenagers who see no point in carrying on: living a life in shades of grey. My sense of humour, which has helped me with so many lows in the past, has felt strained and deserted me as I’ve spent yet another bus journey listening to someone talking about their time in prison – only to arrive at work and be bored by the pointlessness of it all, only to arrive at home and find myself alone and wondering what it’s all in aid of.

And the truth is that life is like the flapping of butterflies wings – everything is connected. The cycle is self-creating and self-repeating.

I’m not making any resolutions for this year – we make them about such trivial things and we always forget them – but I have Plans (note the capital letter)

So here’s my list of Things To Do In 2009:
Find some way of achieving fitness without great expense – I hate jogging (far too embarrassing and one always finds a group of Teenagers watching at the point where you want to collapse), but enjoy walking and cycling: so if I have to change the time I do the ironing to ensure I get out and about I will
Get the kitchen done, hopefully the front room and front drive – the lack of progress during 2008 has been like a piece of Kryptonite around Superman’s head
I will join the local art group that has a yearly exhibit at the local gallery
I will continue to work on my art and to write songs
I will finish my novel for better or worse
I will throw out all the junk I haven’t looked at in five years
I will learn more about Bhuddism (Bhudda of Hollywood – can you recommend some books), meditation and positive thinking

But most importantly:
* I will no longer allow the fact that I am not where I want to be to stop me from getting there
* I will show my partner how much she means to me more often, but to remember that my desires are important too.
* I will remember always that, as life is essentially pointless it’s only purpose HAS to be to give it meaning.

And if all my plans don't work out then so what? If we aim high then finally might we not touch the sky?


pohanginapete said...

Some sound common-pixie sense in this post, and it's great to enjoy the pixie humour. Thanks :^)

Plenty of buddhism-in-practice at Michael's blog (but you'll already know that).

Among other things, your Plans seem to be strong on creative endeavours and improving your abilities in those areas. I'm pleased about that, as it suggests we'll get to enjoy the outcomes, too ;^)

Anne-Marie said...

Your plans - sorry, Plans; important distinction there - sound excellent, hungry pixies. I too have Plans but I also have a strong aversion to putting them on my blog.

I wish you all the best for 2009.

Don't Feed The Pixies said...

pete - yes, there will be regular updates on the Plans

Anne-Marie: so long as your plans don't involve buying a white cat and stroking it incessently whilst cackling to yourself and planning world domination then all the best for them - whatever they are!

Michael said...

Buddhism ideas:
- Book: Buddhism from Within, An intuitive introduction to Buddhism, by Rev. Daizui MacPhillamy

Your post made me think of a Daoist idea: for every inspiraton there is an expiration, every day has a night, every summer has a winter, ... all natural cycles beyond our control.

Finally, I've let go of the words goal or plan. I'm trying to focus on intention. Much gentler I think.

Best for 2009!

The Clandestine Samurai said...

But hey, hey, hey, now wait a damn minute..........what's wrong with white cats and world domination? Did you steal that from "Inspector Gadget" or were you just thinking of stock villain imagery, lol?

No, but seriously, man, it's like I was trying to suggest before. Break these things down and try to do a piece day by day. Tackle a page (or two) of the novel a day. Practice some basic art forms and then pursue smaller steps towards more complex ones. I mean, these are just suggestions, you have your own way of writing and drawing, but the point is to do bit by bit. My own laziness towards doing major research for my novels has held me back......for years. But I've started researching for two novels and I definitely plan on completing both this year. Definitely join the art group and see what happens.

It's funny that you put that you wanted to write songs, because the other day I was thinking to myself that I always look at my guitar laying on the floor and feel guilty for not having practiced consistently like I should've over the years. This was further compounded by reading that the lead singer from a thrash metal band called Trivium practiced playing the guitar for 9 hours a day for 7-9 years.

So how just believe life is pointless because you haven't found it's meaning yet? It's possible. That's my take on it anyway.

Don't Feed The Pixies said...

Michael - thank you: i will look into these

Samurai - thanks for your wise words: i agree with your statement "you just believe life is pointless because you haven't found it's meaning yet? It's possible." because i feel that maybe the journey is part of the meaning. Thanks again x

Captain Steve said...

"I will no longer allow the fact that I am not where I want to be to stop me from getting there"

Excellent Plan. I am totally swiping that for my own personal gain. Happy New Year!

Lisa Allender said...

Hi there, DFTP. Exciting Plans!
I'm just now getting "caught up" with the Blogosphere.
Come visit me again; I've missed ya!

gemandal said...

I will remember always that, as life is essentially pointless it’s only purpose HAS to be to give it meaning. That is going to be my motto for 2009, I love it! not keen on the STD bit but then Obi Wan always had a point with that...

Don't Feed The Pixies said...

Lisa - yes i will come visit soon. My apologies for my absence

Gemnalex - merry new year to you and thanks. Hope you let those builders go by the way

Honour said...

Pixie Man - you are such a conundrum. You always start your postings with a touch of despair, that I begin to worry just a little bit. But alway, always (and I should know this by now) you always emerge with so much hope and goals and life - (you've got life, bud - it is bursting from you) ... that it's hard not to feel inspired by your words.

Good luck.

And the good thing about putting your plans on your blog is it holds you accountable.

Beginner buddhist book and work your way up to the real thing ... "Wherever you go, there you are"

and then "Peace is Every Step" by Thich Nhat Hahn