Friday, 12 September 2008

The Joy Of Computer Games In The 1980s

It seems odd to think of it now, but in its day The Hobbit (as enjoyed by myself on the ZX Spectrum) was a pretty revolutionary game. Not only did it take typed instructions, re-engage a pre-Peter Jackson interest in Lord Of The Rings and (shock horror) come with actual pictures as part of the game (admittedly they took 3 minutes to download) but it got a whole generation talking about computer games.

Here, however, is my experience of how pretty much every game ended:


YOU ARE IN A ROOM. TO THE EAST THERE IS A DOOR, TO THE WEST THERE IS A WINDOW. THORIN IS PRESENT
>open door<
THE DOOR IS LOCKED
>open window<
YOU CANNOT REACH THE WINDOW
>say to Thorin “open window”<
YOU TALK TO THORIN
>say to Thorin “open window”<
YOU TALK TO THORIN. TIME PASSES
>say to Thorin “please open the window”<
YOU TALK TO THORIN. THORIN SITS DOWN AND SINGS A SONG ABOUT GOLD
>say to Thorin “open the *#@$ window”<
DO NOT UNDERSTAND *#@$”
>say to Thorin “open the window”<
YOU TALK TO THORIN. THORIN OPENS THE WINDOW
>climb through window<
YOU CANNOT REACH THE WINDOW
>say to Thorin “pick me up”<
YOU TALK TO THORIN. TIME PASSES
>say to Thorin “if you pick me up I can climb through the window and we can escape”<
YOU TALK TO THORIN. THORIN CLOSES THE WINDOW
>say to Thorin “you useless *#@$, I just wasted *#@$ ten minutes persuading you to open the *#@$ window!”<
DO NOT UNDERSTAND *#@$”
>say to Thorin “Unless you open the window now I will take this dagger and apply its pointy end to your nether regions”<
DO NOT UNDERSTAND “nether regions”
>say to Thorin “Just OPEN THE WINDOW!”<
YOU TALK TO THORIN. THORIN SITS DOWN AND SINGS A SONG ABOUT GOLD
>kill Thorin<
YOU ATTACK THORIN. THORIN KILLS YOU. GAME OVER – YOU HAVE ACHIEVED 5%

NB: If Gandalf was present things were generally a bit better, as sometimes he would pick you up and help you out – but within seconds you would be re-captured and end up back in the cell with only Thorin for company. On other occasions Gandalf would open the window and climb out, leaving you alone.

10 comments:

The Clandestine Samurai said...

Lmao. That sounds like fun. Interactivity with games always depended on you knowing the exact language the program can understand and comprehend. No changes in case on the letters or anything.

Don't Feed The Pixies said...

That was definately the key - knowing exactly what to say to Thorin! So glad things have improved :)

Honour said...

oh my gosh, i totally forgot that I used to play computer games like this until I read your posting!

ha ha ha .

I learned what LMAO means, after Clandestine used it. I like it ... so now I'm LMAO.

Don't Feed The Pixies said...

honour - samuria. Have just looked up LMAO and hope that your posteriors were both safely re-attached.

computer games have come so far...

Miss Bah said...

Haha such a funny post!
This game sounds rather impossible though...
I liked to play games as well, but it was mostly Sims 2. I thought it was so cool to have power over a whole city and control all the people. xD

Don't Feed The Pixies said...

Jenny - i did find a walk-through on the internet a while ago, but was never really tempted to go back and beat it!

kyle said...

Play Free Arcade Games Growing up in the 1980's Games, Music, Songs, Lyrics, and TV memories - We still love the eighties.
==================
Kyle
Price list guide showing the cheapest place to buy world of warcraft gold
wow gold

Raj said...

Yes that is a nice idea but have you ever thought of going up to the biggest guy on the subway and telling him your thoughts on this. I wonder what he might do, or would you even do it.

-----------
Raj
-----------

wow gold--wow goldcomment

SEO said...

that was definately the key i am damn sure about it. really nice gaming blog i am glad to read it. thanks for share
manishfusion
============
seo jaipur

coolkamal said...

This is such a great resource that you are providing and you give it away for free. I love seeing websites that understand the value of providing a quality resource for free. It is the old what goes around comes around routine. Did you acquired lots of links and I see lots of trackbacks??
oxygen sensor