I've often thought that life is strange enough without going about inventing any more of it, so in the spirit of this i would like to pass on this surreal conversation that I overheard whilst standing at a local bus-stop about 3 weeks ago. Both conversationalists smoked incessantly through the conversation.
A woman in her 50s or 60s (henceforth referred to as “W”) entered the bus shelter and saw a familiar old man (referred to as “OM”). The names given are not their real names, as I can’t remember what their real names were. The woman did most of the talking, interrupting the man when he tried to make a point. See if you can spot, or understand, the leap of logic:
W - Morning George, how are you
OM - Mustn’t grumble love, mustn’t grumble. Leg’s still giving me trouble though
W - You goin’ into town?
OM - Eh?
W - I said, you goin’ into town?
OM - No – I walked down here you see, wanted the shops, but I’m too tired to get back, so I’m on the bus
W - Town’s really busy now anyway isn’t it?
OM - Well…
W - I saw our Jack in town the other day – he said to me, ‘it’s bloody busy here now’ and he were right
An elderly Chinese man power-walked past the stop at this point, grinning as wide as possible without his head splitting, and waving like a manic desk-fan at the old man
OM (calling) - You alright Joe? Great old bloke he is
W (noticing “No Smoking” sign on the bus stop for the first time and taking another drag on her cigarette) - What’s all this no smoking nonsense then?
OM - Bloody ridiculous
W - I’ve been smoking all my life – 40 a day me – and it’s never done me any harm.
OM - No
W - They say it causes cancer, but that’s just rubbish. My friend’s daughter never smoked a day in her life – got lung cancer aged 25.
OM - You’re right
W - And they go treating us like bloody criminals just because we like to smoke. It’s not like its causing anyone any harm
OM - oh well…
And then a brief pause, before…
W - It’s that bloody Hitler! How the hell did he ever come to power?